Slacker Missionary Nurse

Last Monday this incredible crew opened the hospital doors - the entire ship was bursting with excitement as the first patients checked in and walked up the gangway. After all the dreaming and planning and preparation and anticipation, we could hardly contain ourselves... THE PATIENTS ARE FINALLY HERE! I could not wait to get the party started and get. to. work. 

After all, isn't that what I came here to do?

Well, yes, but a hospital doesn't just fill up overnight. There are only so many surgeries that can be done in a day. Much to my surprise, aside from about 8 hours worth of training, I had last week entirely off. I don't think I've had a week with nothing planned since before graduate school. It was so foreign to me - I drank a lot of tea, played cards, made friends, read books, explored a nearby beach, watched movies, tried a Zumba class in town, and went on a vacation.

Come again? 

Yes, you read that right, a vacation. It was not exactly on the top of my to-do list after just two weeks onboard the ship, but a few of us had the weekend off so we jumped at the chance to explore this beautiful country. We traveled about two hours north to Mahambo Beach... truly one of the most stunning places I've ever been!

I went with this amazing bunch!

(L to R: Laura, Elizabeth, Cara, Me, Mary, Nicole)

We stayed at this gorgeous bungalow just yards from the ocean...

     

... And these were the views we had to put up with for 2 whole days (I know, I know... rough life).

We had such an incredible time swimming, sea kayaking, trying fun new foods, swapping stories, soaking in the sun, exploring tide pools and just relaxing.

All joking aside, throughout the week I started to feel guilty and, well, a bit useless. I mean, I'm supposed to be here working as a nurse, not going just hanging out and going on vacation. It was very clear to me, though, that God wanted me to be still... something I'm so bad at. I think some of that is related to the last two years of craziness (read: NP school) where I had zero idle time. But there is also part of it that's rooted in my own sinfulness... busyness is really easy to hide in and I know that I'm so often guilty of that. It's easier to run around frantically than it is to choose to slow down and focus on fostering a deep intimacy with Jesus or pay close attention to the state of your own heart.

On Saturday, we woke up at 5am and watched a breathtaking sunrise unfold. In that moment I felt like God was saying, 

"Jarah, you are not your career. You are not the work you do or the things you produce. I delight in you simply because I've chosen to. Nothing you do, or don't do, will change that."

Then on Sunday night, after we had returned back to the ship, I opened my Bible and read the following: 

The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.  - Acts 17:24-25 (ESV)

Wow. How humbling is that? God is not served by human hands. He doesn't need anything. He is the life giver and sustainer of all. 

In that moment it really sank in... God doesn't need me. He has graciously invited me to partner with Him in this work, but he certainly does not need me. As I anxiously tried to fill my time this past week, thinking I was a slacker missionary nurse, God was actively at work in my heart - inviting me to rest and reminding me of my identity in Him. I am so thankful.

What an incredible privilege it is to be here.

I now have two shifts under my belt and a million and one thoughts swimming around in my head (I know, the mind reels that there could be more). I promise to write about all of that soon, but I didn't want to rush past the important things that happened last week.

Thanks for following along with the journey!

Until next time,

Jarah