little lessons from the big girl world {v.2}

As promised, here are a few more lessons I've learned from my first year in the big girl world. Thanks for being patient with me while I've been moving!

{6} Friends are hard to come by...
Sure, you're pretty much always going to be able to find someone to grab dinner or catch a movie with, but that's not the type of friendship I'm talking about here. Friends - the kind who know your junk and love you all the same, the kind you share your life and heart with - well, they just don't come along every day. I was blessed with some insanely amazing friendships in college - our little group formed within the first week of our Freshman year and we've been tight ever since. I was expecting something similar to happen when I moved to NC, but it's been a much more difficult process. In talking with other twenty-somethings, it seems like I'm not alone in this. Between our crazy work schedules and the demands of grown-up life, it takes a lot of intentionality and effort. It's definitely more challenging to find those deep friendships, but I'd still argue that it's so worth the fight. This time has really taught me to cherish the true friendships in my life - both here and far away.

{7} You can run from hard emotions, but you can't hide.
I've made no effort to disguise the fact that this has been a tough season emotionally... From loneliness and fear, to confusion and anger and bitter grief, I've run through the whole spectrum. It's not my nature to confront uncomfortable feelings head on - In fact, I know very few people who operate that way. For me, it's been easier to avoid those feelings and just put on a smile. I learned (the hard way) this year that suppressing emotion is incredibly unhealthy. And, let me tell you, those emotions will find you. You cannot outrun them. A big part of the growing up that has happened in my life over the past year has involved learning sit in hard emotions - learning to trust that God's grace is big enough to be with me and carry me through as I process.

{8} There is not a one-size-fits-all response to people in pain.
Every time I show up to work, I interact with people walking through deep seasons of suffering and pain. It's a privilege and responsibility that I do not take lightly. God has taught me so much about what it looks like to walk with people through desert times (I'll try to get around to writing more about this). The biggie I've come away with this year, though, has been that there is not a magic formula, a perfect saying, or a cookie-cutter response to people who are hurting. Sometimes you just need to be present. Sometimes words are needed. And sometimes tears. But I've learned that everybody grieves differently, as such, I too need to grieve with them in a way that's personal and appropriate to their situation. All things to all people, right?

{9} You cannot be present in two places.
I cannot be in Utah and North Carolina at the same time. This is another one of those "Duh!" lessons, but it has been a hard one for me to accept. In moving here, I wanted to be able to keep up with all my friends and family back home. Attempting to keep up with all-things-Utah while trying to invest in a new place is just not possible. I have missed weddings, parties and the day-to-day goodness of living close to those people I love... and that's okay. That's part of the sacrifice I made when I moved here. It doesn't mean I love them any less.  I still make time for phone calls, snail mail, and skype dates, but I'm slowly learning to devote my greatest energies and attention to where I'm at. It's a balancing act, one that I'm learning more and more about with each passing week. But I've had to give myself permission to be here and not feel guilty about what I might be missing out on.

{10} My life looks different from those around me, and it's okay.
Up until this point, my life has looked very similar to those around me. But as a young twenty-something my friends are all over the place. Between all of us, we're working minimum-wage jobs, dream jobs and everything in between. We're single, married, dating, and engaged.  We're living in our parent's basement, settling into our first apartment, and buying a house. We're adventuring and seeking roots. We're going back to school and trying all sorts of different crazy things. This is a time of becoming. And we're all becoming different things, which is okay!  In fact, it's something to be celebrated. We may not have the luxury of looking on either side to tell us we're on target, but we get to cheer each other on and that's a beautiful thing. In this past year, all of my close college friends have gotten married... At first, that was a source of insecurity for me. I felt like I was getting left behind in some way. Throughout this year, though, I've learned to trust God's creativity in His plan for my life. Just because I'm doing things differently from my friends and my peers does not mean it's wrong. The moment I came to terms with that, I experienced a huge amount of freedom and peace.