little lessons from the big girl world {v.1}

After Monday's blog post, my mom encouraged me to take some time to write about different things I've learned during my first year in the big girl world. Our conversation got me to thinking about all the little lessons that have come out of the past few months. So much of how I understand myself and the world has changed. I thought it might be a fun venture to write about a few of those things. Please know that I am going into this with a big ole helping of humble pie - I realize that I'm only 23 and that am nowhere close to having things figured out. I'm not claiming to have it all together. I'm just writing from my experience and perspective. Hope you'll hang with me on the ride! Now, let's get to it.

{1} Making time to write is a must.
I've got to write. I just have to. I don't claim to be good at it. It's just how I'm wired. It takes a lot of time and discipline, but I've learned that I'm somewhat of a ticking time bomb without it. Until this year, I never realized that writing was such a major outlet for me. Whenever I sense tension rising or feel like my head is spinning, it's usually because I haven't taken the time to sit down and sort through all the tangled thoughts in my mind. If I am able to put a name to something - a feeling, emotion or experience - generally my head is clearer and my heart is calmer. As evidenced by my sporadic blogging/journaling this year, I have not always been the best at making it a priority. But I'm slowly learning to make space for it in my daily rhythm.

{2} There is a difference between idle time and rest.
Laying in bed, watching 3 hours of Modern Family episodes then getting lost on facebook/pinterest/blogger may seem like a good way to spend a day off, but at the end of that day I won't feel rested or new in any way. I'll inevitably end up feeling more tired and less ready to face the work week ahead. Learning what is truly restful for me has been a slow process. There are mindless actions, and there are restorative actions. Both may appear to be good for my tired body and soul, but only one actually brings about renewal. Idle time is appealing - sometimes I just need to veg and let my mind be blank, but I have learned that I absolutely cannot stay in that place for long. I need to rest wisely. For me that looks like taking my hammock out for an afternoon, going on a walk, writing, praying, reading, taking a yoga class, laying down for a nap, doing something creative, and/or taking time to be quiet/still.

{3} Just because you're working a full time job, does not mean thousands of dollars will magically appear in your bank account.
I know, I know... That seems like a ridiculous statement, but I think it's one that most twenty-somethings grapple with at one point or another. Life is dang expensive, and it's easy to spend mindlessly. I am so grateful to have wonderful parents that taught me the value of a dollar and smart money management - they definitely helped to steer me away from a lot of common pitfalls. Upon becoming completely financially independent this year, it's taken some time for me to work through how I want to relate to money and why. I have come up with a budget that works for me and have had to learn some discipline in sticking to it.

{4} You can have what you want... you just cannot have everything you want.
My nana almost always ends a meal by saying, "Well, my eyes were just bigger than my stomach." I  have learned that I have a similar syndrome with my perspective in life - I tend to overestimate my capacity to accomplish and achieve. Like I said on Monday, I came into this year with a crazy set of expectations and goals. I started to see early on that the growth in my life was going to be slower than I anticipated, and that it was ok. A big part of growing up is learning to prioritize what's most important - best over good. This applies to so many areas of life - time, money, emotional energy etc. As an example, a biggie from this year came with how much I had (and wanted) to travel - I learned that I cannot expect to travel every month and still have time to invest in deep relationships in a new place.

{5} Sleepy Jarah = weepy Jarah.
Working 13-hour swing shifts has been rough on me. Sometimes I feel like an insomniac and a chronic over-sleeper all in the same messed up body. There are times (particularly after a long string of night shifts) where I am completely exhausted - mentally, emotionally and physically spent. When that happens, I just need to have a good cry. I didn't understand why that was happening to me at first - remember, I was convinced I had no emotion. I've learned to give myself time to cry, to rest and get on with life.

Stay tuned for part 2 in the next few days...