At two months in, the novelty of this place is starting to wear off a little. What was once difficult and and uncomfortable has now become quite comfortable and commonplace. I'm in a bit more of a stride with my role as a nurse on the wards and in all areas of life, really. For the most part I have my people and my places and my routines. It's certainly been an adventure with its own unique set of challenges, but I'm loving it here more than I can convey. It has been nothing short of life changing to watch miracle after miracle unfold on the wards. Much transformation takes place through the work of skilled human hands, but make no mistake, it's all God's doing.
There are hundreds of stories and snippets floating around in my mind, but for some reason I've had a difficult time getting them down into words. Sometimes I question, who am I to tell these patients' stories? How can I possibly pen their experiences accurately? Surely there is so much more than I'm privy to in my limited observations and translated conversations. I fear the danger of presenting them simply as a before and after picture - they are so much more than that! They are beautiful people with their own stories and families and hopes and dreams and futures. They are not just a tumor or a broken body, they are people worth knowing. They have as much to offer me as I have to offer them. I've really struggled with my place in posting pictures and status updates, or even writing full patient stories here on the blog. I desperately don't want to be that girl who came to Africa to collect stories & photos that make me look like the brave, selfless hero. I am none of those things.
With everything in me I want to avoid fueling the white savior complex of our age. Billions of people in our world lack access to safe surgical care - yes, billions. I've been gifted with a medical education that can be used to help, but to be clear, I am not the savior here. To be candid, it's easy to desire to be. It's easy to want to rush in and fix something, and feel like from that point on everything is going to be good for the people you've come to help. We all want to see the nicely packaged story with the happy ending, but it's always more difficult and complex to do good than we imagine.
The larger reality is this: though we are taking part in incredible, redemptive work - fixing what's been broken, removing disfiguring tumors, releasing burn contractures, mending bones, correcting cleft lips, and repairing vesicovaginal fistulas - the health and vitality we see in all of these patients will eventually fail. These patients are all going to die. It may be next week and it may be 50 years from now. God only knows the number on our days. Whether through old age or disease or accident, their bodies are not completely restored. They are very much mortal and very much part of this fallen world. Yes, their lives have been dramatically changed by these surgeries, but one day they will die and come face to face with their Maker, just like we all will. I fear that this is sounding overly morbid here, but I think it's a reality that's important to come to terms with. And, if we're honest, this begs the question: If we're only mending broken bodies and not impacting the eternal soul, then what are we doing?
As Jesus followers, how we combine social justice/humanitarian aid with evangelism is an ever-evolving discussion, and it's not one I intend to unpack here on the blog. I do think there is a lot to be said for pressing into the tension and seeking to love holistically, fully recognizing that people are both spiritual and physical beings (Goodness, I said I wasn't going to get into this...).
As I've been wrestling through this in my own heart over the past few weeks, God's been gently reminding me of so many important truths. First, He loves these people more than I ever could and has been at work here long before I even entered this world. Second, I am called to speak truth & life as I help mend broken bodies, but the world is not actually mine to save, it's His.
And He is a very capable Savior.
In all our efforts to impact bodies and souls, may we learn to trust His loving & capable hands.
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“Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” - Revelation 7:10
"We serve others not with some hidden scheme of making converts, rather to contribute to the common good, to help humans flourish as God intended." - Philip Yancey
"The main principles seem to be to love people, build relationships and out of that share your faith. We ask that people remember that our patients are vulnerable and as such no coercion should be used. We are not here to count how many 'come to Jesus' but to be like Jesus, to love them and let God do the accounting for us." - Anonymous Mercy Ships Volunteer
"The desire to save, whether from sin or poverty or exploitation, is one of the most damaging motives in ministry. Humility is the real Christian virtue…when we come to realize that…only God saves, then we are free to serve, then we can live truly humble lives. It makes all the difference in the world whether I view my neighbor as a potential convert or as someone whom God already loves."
- Henri Nouwen
"What you do in the present—by painting, preaching, singing, sewing, praying, teaching, building hospitals, digging wells, campaigning for justice, writing poems, caring for the needy, loving your neighbor as yourself—will last into God’s future. These activities are not simply ways of making the present life a little less beastly, a little more bearable, until the day when we leave it behind altogether. They are part of what we may call building for God’s kingdom." - N.T. Wright
"A path forward is found, not through providing resources to the poor, but instead by walking with them in humble relationships."
- Steve Corbett (When Helping Hurts)
"The more perfectly we know God the more we will feel the desire to translate the new-found knowledge into deeds of mercy toward suffering humanity." - A.W. Tozer
"Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God." - Philippians 2:15 (Message)
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
- Psalm 73:26
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