“My nose. I thought the doctors were going to fix my nose. And what about these scars on my face? Will they ever go away?”
For nearly a week, the history behind her burn contractures was a complete mystery. We all attributed it to an accident, likely related to her underlying seizure disorder. That would make sense. During a dressing change last week she bravely voiced her story – a story that will never make sense. She was sitting on the side of the road in the capital city, selling fruits and vegetables like she did every other day, when a car sped past pausing just long enough for a man to jump out and throw acid in her face. She was an innocent victim of a senseless crime. Instantly feeling blinded, suffocated and aflame, she ran around in utter panic while nearby street vendors did their best to clean her up and calm her down. Her memory is somewhat fuzzy on the remaining events of that day, but she remembers waking from the brutality to find her face and neck completely covered with severe chemical burns. Lacking access to adequate medical care, she miraculously recovered, though the resulting contractures significantly restricted her mobility and function (read more about burn contractures here).
This woman came to the ship unable to turn her head, chew a mouthful of food or fully blink her eyes. The plastic surgeon performed an extensive operation involving skin grafts, an eyelid revision, and multiple z-plastys. Her recovery has been long and hard, wrought with pain and infection and fear of graft failure. Though she is still in the early phases of her recovery, she is doing remarkably well. She is already able to close her eyes, chew her food, and turn her head to the right and to the left! Can you imagine?
Even still, those scars…
I know she is rejoicing over the huge progress that’s been made, but things are not as they once were. Even with this surgical intervention, she will always see the marks of that trauma when she looks in the mirror. As I sat across from her, it was plain to see that those scars went much deeper than any third degree burn ever could. There are wounds inside her that I cannot reach. There are wounds in so many of our patients that I can't reach and it breaks my heart to see them carrying such huge burdens. I'm learning, though, that I can speak life & hope over them in this place.
“Those scars may fade a bit with time, unfortunately we cannot make them go away. But look at those scars, they show that you are strong & that you survived! And now you can move again in ways you haven’t been able to in years! You are not your nose. You are not your scars. You are a precious, loved child of God. You are of infinite worth, your life has so much value."
Ever so slowly, this amazing woman has come out of her shell. Her eyes are shining brightly & you can see new joy growing. I pray that in this journey she will continue to see her scars through new eyes. I pray that she will know how loved and cherished she is.
In just a matter of weeks, the first round of plastic surgeries for this field service is complete. We are still caring for many of these sweet patients on A-Ward - praying for tissue growth, protecting from infection, providing extra protein to expedite healing, checking neurovascular signs every 4 hours, and standing in awe at miraculous improvements with each dressing change. These patients have been with us for weeks and I'm quite certain each and every one of them has stolen a piece of my heart. As they are slowly beginning to be discharged home I'm rejoicing with them over fingers that move, arms that raise, necks that turn, eyes that close, feet that stand, and elbows that bend. They are survivors! My hope and my prayer is that they would go back to their homes with stories of restoration. I pray that when asked about their scars, these patients will proudly speak of released contractures, restored self-worth, and how the love of Jesus has given them hope.
Jesus was also an innocent victim of cruel, senseless torture. He hung on a gallows and died a criminal's death. He too bears the mark of His suffering with scarred hands, feet & brow. He has entered into the pain of this life. And by His wounds He made it possible that you and I may be healed! May we all learn to see our scars in light of His.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds - Psalm 147:3
(Raise the roof for this axillary release!)
“... I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That is what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them. We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived.”
- Chris Cleave (from Little Bee)
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