Look Full In His Wonderful Face

I walked into the maxillofacial ward for the very first time - one look around the room and I quickly swallowed a rush of fear. This ward is home to patients that present with some of the most dramatic deformities and illnesses, all from the neck up. I grabbed my clipboard and gathered with the rest of the nurses for the change of shift safety briefing & prayer. As we all circled up to pray over the evening shift, I quietly whispered, "Oh Jesus, help me. This is going to be hard."

During handoff I looked up and saw him lying there, back turned, face tucked beneath a blanket, making every attempt to be invisible. That's the thing I'm learning about so many of these patients, the hostility of this world often pushes them to hide. They come to us veiled, both physically and emotionally. As I approached his bedside, the smell of gangrenous flesh was almost too much to handle. I peered over the blanket and saw a softball sized tumor standing out from his lower jaw. His gaze met mine. Instead of greeting him with a warm smile, my eyes quickly darted away and I nervously scribbled something down on my clipboard. I couldn't look, but I also couldn't quite look away.

I went about my tasks at the beginning of the shift, attending to each of my patients. When I finally made my way back to his bedside, I heard that still small voice say, "Jarah, this is my beloved child. You will look him in the eye and show him the utmost dignity. You will engage with him and show Him my love." I put my hand on his shoulder, and he turned around to face me. I felt awkward and uncomfortable, but somehow managed to look him in the eye and say, "Hi G-, My name is Jarah. I'm going to be your nurse tonight and I just wanted you to know I'm so glad you're here." A small smile came across his face and he slowly rolled back.

Throughout the shift, the two of us had more and more time to talk. I asked about his life and did my best to see past his tumor. I'm learning how vital it is to push past my own discomfort in an effort to really see people who have gone unseen for so long. Eye contact is so powerful, sometimes holding our gaze communicates love more loudly than anything. The longer I looked at him, really looked into his brown, soulful eyes, the more I saw Jesus there. And with that my heart just ached for him to be healed and whole.

Though I only took care of this brave soul on one shift, I've been following his progress quite closely. I'm happy to report that his healing is well under way! Physically, he is still waiting for surgery as the medical team works to correct long-standing malnutrition and infection. So many of my peers have continued to shower him with love and acceptance. Emotionally, he's started to see his own worthiness again and is no longer hiding. During recreation time on deck 7 he can often be found initiating a game of Jenga or playing sports with other patients. It's truly been beautiful to watch his transformation take place.

As I've been processing this all week, the words from that old hymn have been playing through my mind: "Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace." Friends, I'm learning to look full. To hold a gaze in the face of Christ & his beloved children. What great beauty there is to be found.

This is Sambany. He was treated during last year's field service in Madagascar - what a remarkable change! I thought I would post his picture here as an example of the patients we see in the Maxillofacial unit. More pictures from this year coming soon!


“I think that every human being has the right to look human. To be treated as human. To have a place at the table of the human race. And when you have been deprived that seat, and it’s offered to you again... to be able to re-enter the human race and to look like everyone else... that’s a fantastic thing.”
- Dr. Gary Parker

Slacker Missionary Nurse

Last Monday this incredible crew opened the hospital doors - the entire ship was bursting with excitement as the first patients checked in and walked up the gangway. After all the dreaming and planning and preparation and anticipation, we could hardly contain ourselves... THE PATIENTS ARE FINALLY HERE! I could not wait to get the party started and get. to. work. 

After all, isn't that what I came here to do?

Well, yes, but a hospital doesn't just fill up overnight. There are only so many surgeries that can be done in a day. Much to my surprise, aside from about 8 hours worth of training, I had last week entirely off. I don't think I've had a week with nothing planned since before graduate school. It was so foreign to me - I drank a lot of tea, played cards, made friends, read books, explored a nearby beach, watched movies, tried a Zumba class in town, and went on a vacation.

Come again? 

Yes, you read that right, a vacation. It was not exactly on the top of my to-do list after just two weeks onboard the ship, but a few of us had the weekend off so we jumped at the chance to explore this beautiful country. We traveled about two hours north to Mahambo Beach... truly one of the most stunning places I've ever been!

I went with this amazing bunch!

(L to R: Laura, Elizabeth, Cara, Me, Mary, Nicole)

We stayed at this gorgeous bungalow just yards from the ocean...

     

... And these were the views we had to put up with for 2 whole days (I know, I know... rough life).

We had such an incredible time swimming, sea kayaking, trying fun new foods, swapping stories, soaking in the sun, exploring tide pools and just relaxing.

All joking aside, throughout the week I started to feel guilty and, well, a bit useless. I mean, I'm supposed to be here working as a nurse, not going just hanging out and going on vacation. It was very clear to me, though, that God wanted me to be still... something I'm so bad at. I think some of that is related to the last two years of craziness (read: NP school) where I had zero idle time. But there is also part of it that's rooted in my own sinfulness... busyness is really easy to hide in and I know that I'm so often guilty of that. It's easier to run around frantically than it is to choose to slow down and focus on fostering a deep intimacy with Jesus or pay close attention to the state of your own heart.

On Saturday, we woke up at 5am and watched a breathtaking sunrise unfold. In that moment I felt like God was saying, 

"Jarah, you are not your career. You are not the work you do or the things you produce. I delight in you simply because I've chosen to. Nothing you do, or don't do, will change that."

Then on Sunday night, after we had returned back to the ship, I opened my Bible and read the following: 

The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.  - Acts 17:24-25 (ESV)

Wow. How humbling is that? God is not served by human hands. He doesn't need anything. He is the life giver and sustainer of all. 

In that moment it really sank in... God doesn't need me. He has graciously invited me to partner with Him in this work, but he certainly does not need me. As I anxiously tried to fill my time this past week, thinking I was a slacker missionary nurse, God was actively at work in my heart - inviting me to rest and reminding me of my identity in Him. I am so thankful.

What an incredible privilege it is to be here.

I now have two shifts under my belt and a million and one thoughts swimming around in my head (I know, the mind reels that there could be more). I promise to write about all of that soon, but I didn't want to rush past the important things that happened last week.

Thanks for following along with the journey!

Until next time,

Jarah

Salama from Mada!

Salama means "hello" in the Malagasy language... So, hello from Madagascar! 

I've been here for 10 days and so much has happened already!

I arrived into Antananarivo (Tana) late last Thursday evening with a large group of Mercy Shippers. The airport was tiny - it took us all close to 3 hours before we made it through customs and found our bags. There were about 30 of us who had to stay in Tana for a few days awaiting the ships arrival. Antananarivo was very different from my previous experience in South Africa, which I jokingly refer to as,"Shiny Africa." The city center sits on a large hill surrounded by green rice fields, red soil & small, brightly colored huts. There really is something beautiful about it, but it's also impoverished in a way I have never seen before. When we were riding through town in taxis, the sweet pot-bellied children would run along our car asking for money and yelling "Vazaha! Vazaha!" (meaning: white person, white person). We all really struggled with the overwhelming need we saw as we ventured through Tana. It was difficult to process, but I think it was important to see. I realized that it will be really helpful to have a bit of an understanding of what life might be like for my patients.

Though tourism is essentially non-existent in Tana, we made a point to leave our guest house and explore a bit. We tried a couple Malagasy restaurants, ventured to a lemur park, visited the queen's palace and attended a local church service (Africans sure do know how to put on a good worship service!). Although we were all antsy to get to the ship and get started, this extra time ended up being a huge blessing. I had some time to rest after those long flights and really enjoyed getting to know some of the wonderful people I have the privilege of working alongside.

Our bus left for Tamatave - the city where the Africa Mercy is ported - early on Monday morning. It took 11 LONG hours to get here, but we made it safely into port just before sunset. I cannot tell you how excited I was when we rounded the corner and I got my first glimpse of the ship. It is surely a moment I will treasure forever. I snapped this photo quickly on my first walk up the gangway...

This first week has been chocked full of nursing orientation. We got a bit of a late start with the delays, so everything has been condensed into a shorter orientation period - trust me when I say we have hit the ground running, our days have been quite full. It's an enormous task to bring nurses together from all over the world and get them all on the same page - we've gone through hours of meetings on policies and procedures and unit norms. One thing that Mercy Ships values is providing a high standard of care and that has been very evident in all of our education and training this week. I've truly been impressed!

On Thursday we spent the day setting up the hospital. Everything was packed away and covered with dust from the sail, so we spent the whole day cleaning the wards from floor to ceiling, getting everything stocked and prepared for our patients. Just a little glimpse of our progress below...

On Friday, it was our turn as nurses to provide an orientation to other hospital staff members. Mercy Ships employs hundreds of local Malagasy people to serve as translators, housekeepers, kitchen staff, etc. We had a blast getting to know them and teaching them about the hospital. They graciously taught me a few Malagasy words and quickly laughed at my horrible mispronunciation... it's a work in progress, people.

{A few of my team members on cleaning day}

I've been placed on A-Ward where I will be caring for patients from general, plastic and orthopedic surgical services. I'm really excited for the diversity of patients I'll get to work with during my time here. The diseases and conditions treated by Mercy Ships are those found in abject poverty... we don't see a lot of them in the U.S. so I'm sure that I will learn a ton! The first patients will be admitted to the wards tomorrow and surgeries start on Tuesday - I could not be more thrilled to get started!

{The wonderful A-ward team after day crew orientation}

I have LOVED my time here so far. To be sure, there has been a lot to adjust to: 2 minute showers, living in a tiny cabin with 5 other people, learning French/Malagasy, experiencing a bit of culture shock, etc. With all that being said though, it has been incredible to experience the body of Christ pulling together in a common purpose to bring hope and healing to the Malagasy people. Anyone who knows me knows that I love nursing, but I can honestly say that I have never felt as passionate about it as I have here... and the patients haven't even come yet! Throughout this week the leadership team has charged us with the idea of nursing as worship - in caring for people recovering from life-changing surgeries, we get to tell them about the true Healer who loves them and in whom all hope and life is found. How incredible is that?!

To them God has chosen to make known among the [Malagasy people] the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. - Colossians 1:27

Points for prayer this week

• Pray for the hospital as we begin operations this week. Pray that everything will go smoothly with the procedures, nursing care, scheduling and equipment.
• Pray that patients and families will see God through us... that despite language and cultural barriers we will communicate God's love. Pray that they will find the true source of hope and healing.
• Pray for unity and grace among the staff as we learn to live and work in tight community on this ship

Sending love across the miles,

Jarah

p.s... If you're interested in sending mail while I'm away, here's the 4-1-1

Letters, packages, etc. will be forwarded regularly to the ship. Address all mail as follows...

Jarah Nordin

Mercy Ships AFM

Crew Mail

P.O. Box # 2020

Lindale, Tx 75771-2020

U.S.A.

A couple additional points to keep in mind...

It can take several weeks for mail to reach me in Madagascar. 

I will be charged $8.80/pound for all items shipped to me (think light!)

Bon Voyage!

I'm currently sitting in a quiet airport corner in gray, rainy Paris, just about half way through my long journey to Antananarivo. I've been awake for way too many hours, so excuse me if I ramble on a bit longer that usual today.

Since I wrote last, Mercy Ships has delayed sail to Madagascar twice for unforeseeable complications, which has honestly caused a bit of anxiety on my end. I've been continually reminded of how much is outside my control and am praying daily for God to increase my faith and trust in this journey. There is a great leadership team that's been tirelessly at work to get us to port in Tamatave as quickly as possible. It looks like we should be boarding the ship by September 1st. Until then, I'll be housed in the capital city with many of my fellow MS volunteers.

It's hard to believe this day is here. After months of planning & years of dreaming, I am finally en route to Madagascar to work with Mercy Ships (somebody pinch me). Over the past few days, I think I've gone through what seems like every emotion imaginable. I've done everything I know to prepare and now all that's left to do is, well, do this thing. There is so much unknown about what lies ahead - it's intimidating and scary and bursting with possibility.

The past few months have been a whirlwind: graduating from NP school, preparing for & taking my board exams, quitting a job I loved, backpacking through Europe, taking a cross country road trip, moving back to SLC, interviewing for NP jobs, signing on a big dotted line, saying goodbye to my sister and brother-in-law as they moved to Chicago, and now jetting off for 4 months to live and work on a floating hospital ship in Africa! Oofta! As fun and amazing as all that has been, there has been a lot of transition in my life in a relatively short period of time. To be candid, these last few months have left my head and heart reeling a bit. Recently I've found myself thinking, "God, I just don't know if I'm ready for this. I don't know if I can handle another big change." And He continues to press back, "Jarah, do you believe that I'm enough for you? Trust me, take this step and trust me." So that's what I'm doing... Fully recognizing that none of us ever feel ready for something as big as this, I'm stepping out in faith and trusting the One who promises to walk with me.

Again, I just wanted to say how incredibly grateful & humbled I am by the lavish support I've received in preparation for this journey. For all of you who have prayed for me, contributed financially, offered wise words or timely encouragement, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am honored that you would join me in this work!

Until next time,
Jarah

Thank you!

Y'all. I'm so happy and humbled to report that I am 100% funded for my upcoming venture with Mercy Ships. A BIG thank you to each and every one of you for your support. I am unspeakably grateful!

A quick note, any donations from this point forward will go toward the Mercy Ships organization - helping to bring hope and healing around the world!

Again, thank you a million times over!

Halfway There!

Happy Friday, Y'all!

Just dropping in to celebrate being over halfway in the fundraising process for Mercy Ships! I've lost track of the number of times I've checked my donor page and immediately burst into tears at the outpouring of love and generosity on your part.

Thank you a million times over.

the next adventure // mercy ships

It has been over a decade since I first heard about Mercy Ships at my home church in Salt Lake City, Utah. As the Mercy Ships volunteer presented his stories and pictures, my young heart was totally captured with the idea of venturing overseas to serve people in need. I remember leaving that night thinking, "I'm going to go on that ship someday." At the time, pursuing medicine was just a faint idea amongst many other brewing possibilities. Throughout my college career it became clear that nursing was the path for me and I always hoped that I'd be able to use the knowledge and skills overseas.

As many of you know, I've spent the past 4 years living in Durham, North Carolina. My time here has been full of so many wonderful experiences. I have absolutely cherished my role as a nurse in the pediatric bone marrow transplant unit and, most recently, the pediatric float pool. It’s truly been a joy to walk with patients and families through some of their deepest victories and heartaches. As much as I try, it’s difficult for words to fully explain how much I’ve learned and what an honor it has been to work with these brave kids.

Just a few weeks ago, I also graduated from Duke with a master’s degree in family nursing practice. Graduate school is one of the best and hardest things I’ve done. I’m excited to step into the role of a nurse practitioner, but before I do that, God has challenged me to use the gifts and talents he’s given me as a medical professional to serve His kingdom. Now is the time! After an intense season of preparation, I’m looking forward to serving with Mercy Ships in Tamatave, Madagascar from August - December of this year. I could not be more excited to live and work on this floating hospital ship!

Mercy Ships has been operating a fleet of hospital ships in developing countries since 1978. Following the 2000-year-old example of Jesus, Mercy Ships brings hope and healing to the forgotten poor, mobilizing people and resources worldwide. Mercy Ships relies on a team of volunteer crew members who pay their own room and board, travel and personal expenses while serving.  This allows general Mercy Ships donations to be used for direct patient care, community development programs and other costs associated with its Field Service initiatives. From doctors to nurses, engineers to deck hands, housekeepers and teachers, everyone serves as a volunteer. I will be working as a pediatric ward nurse onboard the ship where I’ll be caring for surgical patients who’ve undergone maxillofacial and orthopedic procedures.

Since Mercy Ships requires that I raise 100% of my support, I will need to raise $6,500 by July 31, 2015 to fully meet my needs. I invite you join me on this journey by supporting me through prayer and, if possible, through financing. If you would like to partner with me in this endeavor you can give a tax-deductible gift by clicking HERE to link to my fundraising webpage.

OR, If you prefer, you may also write a personal check to Mercy Ships - please write my full name & designation code (#4027) in the memo line and mail to the address below:
     Mercy Ships
     P.O. Box 1930
     Garden Valley, TX 75771-1930

Thank you for your time and prayerful consideration of partnering with me in this exciting new venture. I appreciate your prayers and support in this work and look forward to sharing stories with you along the way (check back often for updates or subscribe via email on the right sidebar).

Love and blessings,
Jarah